your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
