I think I am morally bankrupt
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
When are your genitals available?
I believe in your delicious
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
