At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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