Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
