I am in a vortex of obligation.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
