let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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