Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
