I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
