I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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