I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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