My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
