Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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