i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I did not marry a roomba.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
