did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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