"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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