She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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