She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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