That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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