You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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