Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
