You made me cry and you don't even care
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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