Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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