Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
