I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
