I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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