we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
