so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
