it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
