there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
