I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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