dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
