they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
