Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
