Will you blow on my dice?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize