even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
