I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
