Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
