At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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