Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
