When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize