I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The air was thick with penises
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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