the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
