I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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