I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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