my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize