Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize