two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
