jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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