i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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