We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
