it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
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I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
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Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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