woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
