Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
