Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
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there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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