yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
