he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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